1、I'm a mature person. I don't eat until I'm full
2、一男子要跳樓，剛趕回來的妻子喊道：“別沖動(dòng)，我們的路還長著呢！”男子聽后，立刻跳了下去。站在旁邊的談判專家說：“太太，你真不應(yīng)該這樣嚇?biāo)?rdquo;
3、Ever since I saw your photo of registered residence， I know that it is so simple to give up a love person.
4、天下沒有不散的宴席，但如果你請(qǐng)客，我可以陪你多吃一會(huì)
5、希望所有的事都和長胖一樣簡單。
6、What is the current situation: going to bed late， getting up early， working overtime for a long time， can you be specific: no car， no room， no deposit， can you be more specific: poor
7、想染粉色頭發(fā) 請(qǐng)問是漂的時(shí)候頭皮比較疼 還是被我爸發(fā)現(xiàn)后挨打比較疼
8、今晚月色真美好，想吃麥辣雞腿堡
9、女：我真的不會(huì)接受你的！別送我禮物了！男生：不怕，我買的都是兩元店里的，不費(fèi)錢。
10、若不是你突然闖進(jìn)我生活，月底我至少還剩兩百多
11、The electric car was stolen in the community. I angrily scolded the property: "what's the use of installing monitoring！" The security guard said weakly， "let…… Let you have a last look at the electric car?"
12、Why quarrel? Can't we sit down calmly and cut each other a few knives?
13、你身上的每一寸贅肉，都是向生活妥協(xié)的標(biāo)志。
14、Others fall in love by looks， routines and money. And I'm much simpler. I'm blind only by each other.
15、學(xué)生時(shí)代最親切的一句話，來來來，作業(yè)放中間一起 抄。
16、"I miss the past. At that time， the sky was very blue and the water was very clear. Women would laugh when sitting in the back of their bicycles." God replied， "because most people couldn't afford bicycles at that time."
17、樂觀的態(tài)度是很重要，可是，你也不能天天傻樂吧
18、沒什么才藝 給大家跳段街舞吧 ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ ጿ
19、The most worthy of evaluation in this Olympic Games is not the athletes who have been injured but still work hard， but the referees who are blind but still physically disabled and determined to stick to their posts.
20、電動(dòng)車在小區(qū)被偷了，我怒斥物業(yè)：“你們裝監(jiān)控有什么用！”保安弱弱的說：“讓…讓你看電動(dòng)車最后一眼?”
21、世間鮮有真可愛者 老子就是其中一個(gè)
22、有人問我皮膚為什么黑，真搞笑，一白遮百丑，你白是為了遮丑，我又不丑。
23、我是個(gè)比較成熟的人 像賭氣不吃東西這種事 都是吃飽后才做的
24、People who have been dissatisfied with their hair style and figure have one thing in common: they refuse to admit that it is a face problem.
25、自從看了你戶籍照片，才知道原來放棄一個(gè)喜歡的人，這么簡單。
26、以前一直以為自己是全世界最美的女人，直到我遇到了劉亦菲才發(fā)現(xiàn)原來是我們倆
27、公主病的成因就兩個(gè)：不是長得丑就是窮。那又漂亮又有錢的呢?別逗了，那不是病，那就是公主。
28、Look in the mirror while you're looking good. After all， this illusion doesn't exist every day. Opportunities are rare and cherished.
29、Someone asked me why my skin is black. It's funny. One white covers all the ugliness. You're white to cover the ugliness， but I'm not ugly.
30、如果有人很討厭我，討厭到想拿錢雇人打我的地步了的話，我想跟你說，你把錢打給我，只要錢到位了，我連自己都打。
31、You can't copy the answers when doing your homework， because once you copy the answers， you will find that you can not only write fast， but also be very happy.
32、我來考考你的數(shù)學(xué) 請(qǐng)問你的電話號(hào)碼數(shù)字是多少
33、別人談戀愛靠長相，靠套路，靠花錢。而我就單純多了，只靠對(duì)方眼瞎。
34、Every inch of your fat is a sign of compromise to life.
35、曾經(jīng)我也是靠臉吃飯的人，后來差點(diǎn)餓死，還是得學(xué)會(huì)用筷子。
36、假如生活欺騙了你，不要著急，拿出美顏相機(jī)，去欺騙生活。
37、我終于還是變成了自己最討厭的那種人，我從小就討厭長得好看的人。
38、If I have any shortcomings， just tell me and I'll zoom in to show you.
39、一看見別人掙錢就眼紅，但自己又沒本事，所以只好改變方向，閉上眼睛不看。
40、你不喜歡我沒有關(guān)系，畢竟不是人人都有好品味。
41、當(dāng)今社會(huì)，生米煮成熟飯已經(jīng)沒有用了，就算變成爆米花，該跑的還是會(huì)跑。
42、The most anti detection creature in the world is mother-in-law！ Hide your daughter casually. You have to find it for decades！ Even if you're Conan.
43、Mom: you see， your house is like a pig's nest. You haven't cleaned it up yet！ Me: have you ever seen a pig clean a house? Not all pigs.
44、I used to eat on my face. Later， I almost starved to death. I still had to learn to use chopsticks.
45、老媽：你看你屋子像豬窩一樣，還不收拾收拾！我：你見過豬會(huì)收拾房子嗎?不都是養(yǎng)豬的收拾。
46、我這野馬不識(shí)歸途，但你這小人我必須鏟除。
47、為了不辜負(fù)今天這樣的好天氣。來籃球場了。打球的人特別多，果然撿了不少礦泉水瓶。
48、做作業(yè)時(shí)不能抄答案，因?yàn)槟阋坏┏舜鸢福憔蜁?huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)不僅寫得快還很快樂。
49、I asked for sick leave to see a doctor. When I got to the hospital， the doctor gave me a stomachache. Doctor: I don't have this medicine. Please change your illness！
50、你得感激給你提意見的人，他們自己過得不咋地，還要替你操心。
51、Buy a new mobile phone with facial recognition unlocking screen. Sometimes the unlocking failure tells me that the face matching is not successful， which I can accept. Sometimes it goes too far to say that the face is not detected！
52、I was jealous when I saw others making money， but I didn't have the ability， so I had to change my direction and close my eyes.
53、這個(gè)年代喜歡誰就是應(yīng)該去表白，別整那些花花事兒，愛就要說出來，這樣你才能更快更準(zhǔn)確的知道你沒戲。
54、這個(gè)奧運(yùn)會(huì)最值得評(píng)價(jià)的不是得了傷病卻依舊努力比賽的運(yùn)動(dòng)員，而是雙目失明，卻依舊身殘志堅(jiān)堅(jiān)守崗位的裁判。
55、男：“世界這么大，何必抓著我不放?你有你的生活，我有我的自由，放手才是真。”女：“你拿了東西還沒給錢就想走?”
56、一直對(duì)發(fā)型和身材不滿意的人，有一個(gè)共同點(diǎn)：不肯承認(rèn)這是臉的問題。
57、The kindest words of my student days， come and go， put your homework in the middle and copy it together.
58、Like a person， try to chase， love and express. Even if you are rejected， beaten and hurt， don't give up easily. After more than a dozen failures， you will stop.
59、你罵我，肯定是因?yàn)槟悴粔蛄私馕�，因�(yàn)槟切┝私馕业娜�，都想砍我�?/p>
60、發(fā)，說，說，可，以，通，過，加，逗，號(hào)，讓，別，人，讀，的，很，慢，很，慢
61、問：如何判斷一個(gè)男人的靈魂得到升華，人格得到提升，待人處事開始成熟呢?答：當(dāng)這個(gè)男人覺得洗碗是一種樂趣時(shí)。
62、新買個(gè)手機(jī)，帶面部識(shí)別解鎖屏幕的。有時(shí)候解鎖失敗告訴我人臉匹配不成功，這我還能接受，還有時(shí)候說未檢測到人臉，這就過分了！
63、趁好看的時(shí)候多照照鏡子，畢竟這種錯(cuò)覺不是每天都有的，機(jī)會(huì)難得，且有且珍惜。
64、愚公家門口有兩座山，他決心把山移走，智叟笑他：人的生命就那么長，怎么可能呢?愚公正色道：我死了以后，還有兒子，兒子死了，還有孫子，子子孫孫無窮匱也，總會(huì)把山移走的。天帝聽到這番話很感動(dòng)，派了兩個(gè)精壯威猛的大力士，來幫他們家生兒子。
65、今天的我你愛理不理，明天的我你還愛理不理，不是你這人咋這么沒禮貌呢
66、Optimistic attitude is very important， but you can't be silly every day
67、據(jù)研究表明，長得好看的女生要比一般女生好看一些。
68、I don't know the way home， but I must eradicate you.
69、我對(duì)老媽說：“天天在家吃都吃膩了，要不今天去外面吃?”老媽想了想，點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭。然后給我盛了一碗飯讓我一個(gè)人去外面院子里吃。
70、Woman: I really won't accept you！ Don't give me a present！ Boy: I'm not afraid. I bought it in the two yuan store. It doesn't cost money.
71、小時(shí)候我們都很快樂，因?yàn)槟莻�(gè)時(shí)候我們，丑和窮得都還不是那么明顯
72、為什么要吵架呢?難道我們就不能心平氣和地坐下來砍對(duì)方幾刀嗎?
73、My wife said I was sixteen generations younger than her！ I asked her why she said that. She said that I had married her after eight lifetimes. She said that she had been unlucky for eight lifetimes and married me！
74、我有什么缺點(diǎn)你盡管說，我放大給你看。
75、請(qǐng)病假去看病，到了醫(yī)院，醫(yī)生我胃痛。醫(yī)生：沒有這個(gè)藥了，你換個(gè)病吧！
76、別的女孩換衣服：輕解羅裳；我換衣服：給豬松綁
77、“想念過去的年代，那時(shí)候，天很藍(lán)，水很清，女人坐在自行車后座也會(huì)笑。”神回復(fù)：“因?yàn)槟菚r(shí)候大部分人買不起自行車。”
78、You have to be grateful to the people who give you advice. They don't do well themselves and have to worry about you.
79、何為現(xiàn)狀：晚睡，早起，長加班，可否具體：沒車，沒房，沒存款，可否再具體：窮
80、如果你不和我談戀愛，你就永遠(yuǎn)到不了快樂星球
81、不管你們都混的什么圈子，我混的黑眼圈
82、如果你喜歡上一個(gè)帥哥，請(qǐng)不要立刻采取措施，你應(yīng)該先慢慢了解他，不久后，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)他的朋友更帥。
83、It doesn't matter if you don't like me. After all， not everyone has good taste.
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